Month: July 2014

A Brief History of non-player coaches in the Pittsburgh NABA

2014 South Oakland Ducks

I’ve always wondered why someone would coach an adult league team and not play. It doesn’t make a great deal of sense to me.

It takes a lot of stress out of things when Limbach or Sorosky’s dad just keeps score for us. Having someone take care of coaching a base effectively or, better yet, doing all the bullshit admin stuff would make things so easy. Too easy! I might not have to get to games 2 hours early, and then worry Fetter will tell our 3-hitter to bunt in the first inning, or Shawn will send someone home when the ball is in the infield, or have to think about what to do with the bullpen while I’m trying to also play a game, position the outfield and look for the opposing pitchers tendencies. Be ready for some delegating in the playoffs.

Since the 2014 Ducks two biggest rivals have non-player coaches, I thought I’d take a look back at others who have bravely blazed the non-player coaching trail.

One common thread to teams that employ non-player coaches, is that they are typically good. Except for Cranberry. The worst of these types are found in the 28+ league.

Ok. Here is a list of coach onlys. It’s possible I’m leaving out someone. Feel free to mention omissions in the comments.

1. Randy. Black Sox third base coach (2004-2009)

1A. That other random Black Sox base coach. (2005-10)

Randy-south-park-302178_388_300

The first non-player coach to leave a mark on Pittsburgh’s semi-semi-professional baseball league. He is a legend.

While the Black Sox have been run since there Stampeder days by owner operator, Kenny Powers, they have at times employed both Randy, and some weird guy who had either rad, white-guy dreads or a sick mullet and coached first. I think there were sunglasses worn at all times by the second guy. I don’t think he ever took the field for an official plate appearance.

The Black Sox were the Ducks oldest, fiercest rivals until this season when we dropped down, and gave the Sox the rights to half our players. Randy added to this rivalry by occasionally pulling signature moves such as, yelling “I got it” when our third basement would attempt to catch pop-ups, and umpiring terribly when the regular umps wouldn’t show up. To his credit, he never tried to pretend he was unbiased in the umpiring situations. I don’t think the Sox ever had signs, but Randy gave them. Perhaps decoys to throw off the opposition.

Randy was initially an irritant, but he’s mellowed in his old age. He’s grown on me. Especially since he stopped coaching third for them a while ago.

The other guy, with dreads/mullet I think is mentally ill and/or homeless, and Kenny gave him a jersey just to be nice. Or, perhaps, the anonymous occasional first base coach was the Sox dealer for a while in the mid 2000s when things were a little crazy for all of us.

The_Cranberries,_Zombie

2. Cranberry Coach 2009-2014

Cranberry is always pretty mediocre. I’m never sure if I’m talking to this guy, or his son on the phone or via text or whatever. They are both at the team meetings. Morgan is not a fan of the Cranberry coach. Coach has his team bunt a lot. I think that’s what coaches do, they feel compelled to put on plays, so they have their team bunt. Bunt bunt bunt. Keep giving up outs, and finishing in seventh place. Really this guy isn’t too bad, though. He seems like a decent human being.

Jdf4n

3. Elliot Coach. 2011

He was pretty nice to me. I have nothing bad to say about this guy. Some teams really hated him. (Seriously, Trojan, update your blog.)

4. The Day Toyota/Jefferson Hills Coach. 2013-present

No idea what this guy’s name is, but he basically forces everyone in 18-AA to make a couple trips a year to West Virginia to play 6pm games in those sweat box, metal-roofed dugouts, and get dominated by a team of Ju-Co guys and high school all stars. The field is well maintained, to his credit.

J-Hills coach’s credentials include getting kicked out of the Daily News League after going 8-13 and not being allowed in the Fed League, and not bothering to pay his dues on time in two seasons in the Pittsburgh NABA. His team is also 18-2, and are the defending champs so good job there. Seriously, that field is fucking two hours from anything, i feel like I’m one wrong turn from Deliverance.

4. North American Lions, 2014

I’d put money on this team trying to weasel out of making up the West View game, and trying to avoid having to play all 24 games this season. This is the weirdest one because dude is like in his mid-20s and can’t play or won’t or whatever. I don’t get it. Get number #22 under control. There’s a few shit talking assholes on this team, and it’s the lack of leadership that lets that happen, in part, anyway. At least pretend to give a shit how your players conduct themselves.

Which brings us to…

WOLFPACK!!! (dates unknown)

Both of them. Unreal.

giphy_Pittsburgh NABA_DUCKS

Third base coach has been around a while. He was not involved in the bribery thing a while back. Some of the WOLFPACK!!! 3B coach’s signature moves include:

Telling our attorney and third baseman to go fuck himself, and spewing profanities at him throughout last game. And he didn’t even know Ciccone was a lawyer.

The best was when the kids in the stands were in ear-shot of this tirade. Where are the umps on this? How is the third base coach allowed to say anything to the third baseman aside from “nice play?”

There was the berating and brow beating of the umpires by both coaches during our last game, the repeated illegal runner substitutions which I won’t overlook in the playoffs, and the general dick-headedness that characterizes many of the players on his team.

Alan-Tudyk-42

In summation, I still don’t understand the appeal of coaching adult league baseball not playing, and it seems the biggest assholes never have to step in the box.

In other news, I passed Mike Brandt for the team lead in hit-by-pitch last game.

KellyLeak_cig

Quack.

 

Recaps, 7/2 vs. Senators, 7/6 vs. Titans

2014 South Oakland Ducks, Ducks win, pittsburgh NABA

Our fearless leader, aka Papa Duck, has been at the pond being fed popcorn by infants and the elderly so another fearless Duck was required to take the initiative of informing the fan base of recent transgressions between the South Oakland Ducks and their opponents. As Papa Duck gorges on popcorn and bits of bread, fan favorite ILikeKevinYoung/ILikeKevinYoungEsq will update you on the 7/2 game vs. the Senators and the 7/6 game vs. the Titans.

Benny Photography…

The 7/2 game vs. the Senators presented a shorthanded, 8-man Senators squad versus a veteran-laden, hungry Ducks team. The Senators, however, filibustered the Ducks effort of rolling them over, bringing their bats to the duck pond, a.k.a. the capital of NABA baseball, and thoroughly brow-beating anything the Ducks’ pitchers threw. The game was a back in forth affair between two worthy adversaries. The game ended up going to extra innings, where, Ben Sorosky, aka The Big Sorosky, aka the Dude walked it off with a shot to right-center. In a rage of anger, Bob the Duck bashed ILikeKevinYoungEsq. in the head with his helmet while ILikeKevinYoungEsq. was attemping to revel in the glory of The Big Sorosky’s walk off shot. I don’t remember the score, but there were a lot of runs and the Ducks won by 1 in 8 or 9 innings.

The 7/6 matchup vs. the Titans was another nail-biter between these two teams. On a side note, I generally have a lot of respect for the Titans. They play good ball in spite of being perpetually short handed and don’t engage in any nonsense. The Ducks, however, were pulling all kinds of shenanigans with a QUACK cheer before the game reminiscent of the great Quack Attack of 2008, a fine year for this South Oakland team. Versus the Titans, Gator Fetter, aka Cheddar aka Cheese aka Cheeseball aka Swiss Cheese aka the Big Cheese aka Jason showed the same grit he has all season, starting the game off with some fastballs that caught too much of the zone but preceding to shut the Titans down when it mattered. A timely hit from Brian Strom-Arm Strom broke the game open for the Ducks and broke the Titans’ spirit.

The next South Oakland game is versus The Soviet Union. Or is it the West View Wolfpack? Its on Sunday at 830 PM at John Herb Field. To keep with the consistency of the blog, here is a recent photo of the Wolfpack’s esteemed manager.

 

Game Day 20: Ducks vs. Senators

2014 South Oakland Ducks, Gameday

South Oakland Ducks of the North Side (14-5)

vs

Senators (5-12)

8pm

Springview Field

The Bombers forfeited our regularly scheduled game for tonight, The Senators rain out has been rescheduled in its place.

bombers

It feels like we haven’t had a home game in a month.

We have five games remaining, tonight vs. the Senators, a home game played in Bellevue this Sunday against a resurgent Titans team, a home game in West View against the WOLFPACK!!! on the 13th that will likely determine who gets a first round bye and possibly the one-seed, and then a double header at Springview vs. the Monsters and Bombers at 6pm on July 16th. Though, I think we are the visiting team against the Bombers.

We’re a game out of first place. We need to win out and have North America go 3-2 down the stretch to get the top seed. The WOLFPACK!!! and North America have a game against each other that hasn’t been counted in the standings, which will either be rescheduled or it just hasn’t been entered for some reason. At least one of them will lose.

North America has the Warriors twice (pending a forfeit ruling), the Bombers twice, and the mystery game against West View.

The WOLFPACK!!! have to play five games in ten days, plus a potential makeup game against the Senators and the aforementioned mystery game vs the Lions. Unless there are forfeits involved here, they will have to play seven games before the first round games start on the 21st.

The WOLFPACK!!! have allowed 20 fewer runs than us, and I think that’s the first tie breaker after head to head. So It’s likely we will have to finish a full game ahead of them to pass them in the standings, even if we win our game on the 13th.

If we are going to win out, we can overlook anyone. We have to finish on a high note. Peak at the right time, and all that.

Ciccone and Jones are pitching tonight.

saulabout-indiana-jones-4

Bad News for the Senators

 

 

 

 

 

Ducks clinch playoff spot.

2014 South Oakland Ducks

South Oakland holds the tie breaker over the 11-loss Monsters and Senators, who are tied for sixth place. The worst we can finish is 13-11. Here are the standings as of July 1st.

Screen Shot 2014-07-01 at 1.36.33 PM

 

There are good battles going on for both the top spot in the division and the sixth and final playoff spot.

Losing two to the Lions hurt. I’ll take the heat for not at least splitting the series. We were out-coached. Our teams are pretty evenly matched, and they made fewer mistakes.

Anyway, the Ducks play tomorrow at 8pm vs. the Bombers, who have been struggling as of late. We need a win to stay within a game of North America, and to put pressure on the WOLFPACK!!! If both teams win out, it would force a YODA-style showdown when we play them on the 13th.

I’m assuming the WOLFPACK!!! has a bunch of rain outs to make up, so who knows how that will effect their rotation, etc.

The Titans are creeping back towards .500 after sweeping a triple header against the Warriors over the weekend.

The Monsters have gone 2-11 after beating us in April to improve to 3-0.

The Lions are trying to get out of rescheduling a game against the Warriors, that had been rescheduled and then pushed back indefinitely after the Warriors weren’t going to be able to get enough guys.

I’m not sure what the letter of the law is on this, but I’m of the mind that it’s always better to play than take a forfeit, especially when Boley is willing to play triple headers to get games in. But whatever, it’s within North America’s right to try to get a forfeit win against the 2-12 Warriors if that’s what their manager feels is best for their team.

Over the years I’ve absolutely tried to get cheap wins by calling out other teams’ illegal p/unregistered players or pushing for forfeits and the like– especially back in the Red Scare years when we were desperate for wins and not very good, and always a few games out of a playoff spot, and I hate losing. I’ve played with illegal players, I’ve played illegally for other teams, I’ve colluded to with managers to change our score books, so guys would have enough games to be playoff eligible. But as I’ve been around longer, I’ve tried to stay within the letter of the rules and to be conscious of the intent of the league. A big reason I wanted to drop to Single A is to avoid feeling pressured to do that kind of shit, and to have Ducks baseball be about getting everyone playing time (in the regular season, anyway. In the playoffs it’s our best 9 on offense and our best 9 on defense).

I like this year’s Ducks team a lot. I haven’t had this much fun since 2009. We’re facing some adversity for the first time this season, and I’m curious how we will respond down the stretch.

quack.