Daylight dims and dusk draws in. Indistinguishable chatter dissipates from the dugout. A scooter is thrown onto the field. These are the sights and sounds of Ducks baseball in the N.A.B.A.
Every season is special in its own right and the 2017 season is no different, except of course that it is. There is both quantifiable and unquantifiable differentiation from years past. We’ve added an Dominican Puerto Rican Hispanic player which has doubled the number of minority Ducks to a total of two (2) players. This essentially has catapulted us to the top of the league in player diversity.*
Beyond this groundbreaking cultural advancement, there are other somewhat immeasurable moments that consume me. Just a few weeks ago, I marveled as one of our players pulled a sex toy (presumably) from his baseball bag and applied it in a back-and-forth fashion on his hamstring. He had injured himself the previous game and apparently stopped at the A-Mart on McKnight Road in-between. He proceeded to share this toy with several other Ducks who followed his lead by massaging and loosening their hamstrings. Not one of them found this to be strange.
Some Ducks are aware that I’ve been (lazily) chronicling the season through photos. I’ve captured a few solid shots. I have several pics of Joe who happens to be extremely photogenic. He’s also eating something or is asleep in each photo. I’m not kidding. Here’s one of him eating at Wexford.
And here’s another one of him asleep on the bench alongside Future Duck HOFer TJ Morgan.
#55 is in the best shape of his life and has never looked faster on the bases.** Sorosky’s mind is always on the mound, even when he isn’t actually on the mound.
Dimas has been a nice addition. He likes contact and he may be the fastest kid in the league. Here’s a photo of him exiting the bases after being thrown out for the 37th time this season. He’s even a blur when jogging off the field.
I’m told Lombardi takes 100 soft-toss swings every day. I’m fairly certain I haven’t swung 100 times in the past two seasons. It’s one of the reasons he hits the ball 300+ feet on a rope and I hit seeing-eye singles. When we played Carrick, several players post-game in the handshake line congratulated me on my singles. Like, “hey man, nice singles!” And they were sincere about it, which made me feel equally appreciative and diminutive. Anyways here’s a photo of Lombardi at Springview moments before he raked a ball onto Route 28.***
After a slow start, Coach has been on fire in the box, out in the field and in the dugout. One game I was playing left field alongside him in center and heard him motherf*ck a player from another team like 7 times but I couldn’t discern anything else he was saying nor could I tell if he was serious or joking. It was awesome. Here he is managing as Big Mike’s giant arms attempt to rip off his own head.
Jon Moore has done a masterful job of sporting this season. Pulice has been a solid addition and I cannot wait to get drunk with him. We have two (2) sets of brothers on the squad (f*ck you Roberto and Sandy Alomar!): the Italian Casale boys, anchored by 2016 MVP Tony and the Hunky (presumably) Zuzak crew who are led by cooler-than-a-polar-bear’s-toenails Chuck. DJ flies in from Erie, at least I’m pretty sure he does, which clearly has given him time to get his mind straight as he’s crushing the ball this season. Chvarak is older than me which makes me happy and he can hit top pitching while sitting in his wheelchair. I don’t believe Strom has broken a bat or his face yet this year which is an accomplishment. He’s the quintessential Duck IMO. Nichols, Doc, Heisler, Patton and some Annerino kid who attends the University of Wisconsin and is young enough to be my kid keep us in games when our bats go silent. Ultimately, I need more Brandt and Swetz: plain and simple. Honestly – I love this team.
Oh, and there’s been a buttload of rain in June. That’s my reflection on the season to-date. I hope to post another soon.**** Besides, I made it through this entire post without screwing up once. So until then, as us Ducks say: Quick.
*Prolly not true.
***Bit of a stretch, but not entirely false as we could not confirm nor deny where that ball landed.