Public Apology to BIG OIL’s Managment

2017 South Oakland Ducks

I was wrong to question the character and ethics of the Oiler’s manager in the previous post. The Oilers did not bring in a former minor league pitcher.

While I don’t hold myself to the same ethics and rules of professional journalism when I write on this blog, I should have talked to BIG OIL beforehand, and then presented the facts as opposed to letting my misinformation color the tone of the previous post, which I feel went over the line. It wasn’t accurate enough to be factual, and the tone wasn’t absurd enough to be satirical. Invective isn’t an effective literary tool in such high doses.

I fucked up.

Here’s how it happened:

Yesterday, I received a FB message from the Eagles coach with a link to that story. Which, I though, cool. interesting story. Then he said the Oiler’s recruited the guy . I asked if he pitched. He said yes. Eagles mgr. said he heard this info from the Express Coach.

I called the Express coach later that night, he confirmed the accusation. Express coach said he heard from the Devils and Bandido’s (2D2B) coach that there was in fact a former minor league pitcher on the Oilers, who threw against the Express and Bandidos. Apparently the Bandidos have a radar gun at games. 87mph. Not bad.

So in my defense, I tried to do some due diligence. People are probably bitching to Joe about this.

Today I fielded texts from BIG OIL’s management, many of them. So many i had to condense it to one group chat to keep from crossing the streams. So they say, and I have no reason not to believe them, that the guy in the article who did play in the minors plays outfield for them. They do however have another Latin American player who pitches and has closed a couple games for them.

As a writer, I am drawn to hypocrisy and incongruity. Shit that doesn’t fit together right. Conflict drives any good narrative.

It’s one thing if Ken Cool’s brother’s team or Jefferson Davis Hills does some shady roster shit because they are historically shady. So when BIG OIL, who are friends of the Ducks and friends of mine (at least until noon today, anyway) pull some shady shit, that’s more interesting. The elements don’t fit right, but it’s believable because they probably have the connections to pull it off. In my desire to form a narrative, I went over the top.

So, anyway, I’m an asshole. And I definitely would bring a former minor leaguer on to the Ducks if I had a chance. In fact, we tried. Last season Brandt randomly met some dude who played dominican winter ball in the A’s organization several years ago, and he threw a game for us last year and walked a bunch of guys and won’t return Brandt’s calls. Also Bill Franciscus, NABA legend, may or may not have played minor league ball. So, there’s your hypocrisy.





2 thoughts on “Public Apology to BIG OIL’s Managment

  1. I apologize to no one. I am going to heckle the Oilers tonight as if every word of the previous blog entry is true. And I am going to heckle the Ducks management for going soft with this apology. What about freedom of the press. What about its NABA how you gonna legislate shit talking. But mostly the Oilers. No one can verify where Ciccone was when all the WMDS were being smuggled out of Iraq the eve of Operation Iraqi Freedom. This is from Garrett. I swear I am not “Yoda.” This sounds like a Yoda like comment. Swear I am not YODA.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ll tell you exactly where Ciccone was. Sitting in a cafe outside El Shaheed Abdul community center in Baghdad’s Quds neighborhood coordinating joint intelligence before the operation began.

    Liked by 1 person

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