Month: May 2009

Game Day [6] Ducks at OwlZ

2009 Ducks Baseball, South Oakland Ducks Baseball
The South Oakland Ducks of the North Side will travel to middle of nowhere, PA and take on the Owlz at their home field at the Findlay Twp. Sportsplex.

DIRECTIONS

The Ducks will be without seven regulars.
Good luck to our green and gold PCB players as they take on some team in Utica for the National Club Baseball Championship of the World. (I think)

The University of Pittsburgh English Department prepared me well for the tough grind of the service industry, make this alumnus proud, boys.

So much about a baseball season is story-worthy. Not only in the way your journalism teacher taught you to “look for the story”, and have a lead that includes the most important elements of the game, and the 5H’s or whatever, but in a narrative sense.
The narrative arc, the conflict the climax and resolution. Good vs. Evil, internal and external struggles of individuals and teams, battles of wills and ideals;
Of photoshops and odd youtube videos.

With a five game winning streak in their wake our heroes travel to the edge of Ohio, under-manned, and hungover, to take on a team that doesn’t think they belong on the same field.

It would be a story if the Ducks won in Findlay on this mother’s day, one of the three busiest days in the restaurant business, but to do so without their starting catcher, center fielder, left fielder, two infielders, last years ERA leader and Gies, would be Philip-Rothian.

The deforestation in the Pacific Northwest is killing Owls.

Lumberjacks and the letter “s”
Bad Newz for the OwlZzzzzz


Quack.

Part Two to follow.

Game Day [7] Ducks at OwlZz: When Jesse Smith falls into water he doesn’t get wet, the water gets Jesse Smith.

2009 Ducks Baseball, NABA, pittsburgh NABA, South Oakland Ducks Baseball
{Slight edit – contains profanity -]

I’d like to chastise the commissioner for not realizing that I would have to work on mother’s day, and that the Pitt club team would probably have a playoff game this weekend – due to Ryan Novak’s Abe Lincoln-esque leadership, mostly – I’m sure.

Seriously could this be any more unfair?

The OwlZz have been busy plotting against America.

The Owl is the symbol of all that is wrong with everything in this country.

the only more offensive symbol?

(Civil or Revolutionary? WOOOOOOO!)

I guess I’m retarded for associating gray uniforms and “rebels”
with the American Civil War.

Yousimete Sam was a key player in the Battle of Trenton.

Clearly that team is a group of Confederate sympathizers, there is no other plausible explanation, none, what so ever.
Seriously.

I would have gone with the Star Wars Rebel logo, no confusion.

Or name your team the Patriots.

check out the 0-3 Rebels my site news,

Another team crying conspiracy, and hating on my attempt at serious, intellectual, literary self-expression on my beloved blog.

Not much in the game recap department or even cheesy, “Get to know a Rebel” segments, but they made it clear they don’t like this blog, so from now on no more bad mouthing a team for naming themselves the rebels.

Calling the Ducks blog’s writing, “on a second grade level” is an insult to second graders.


George Washington was a slave owner so I’m sure he’d name his team the rebels.
And really, many of the revolutionary heroes who freed this country form British rule (after and during the slaughtering of the Native Americans,) laid the frame work for the fucked up social structure we have now, where poor whites blame poor blacks for their lot in life instead of the system that keeps them all poor, without a voice and without class unity, while the owl-worshipers (so to speak) get richer, and richer.

So it’s almost worse to name your team after the revolutionary war “heroes” than the Confederacy – at least the Confederates were honest – if that is the case.
But I’m not re-photoshopping that pic with George Washington so “The Confederacy” it is.

***

Keep trying to put that chip on your team’s shoulder.

It’s always someone else’s fault.

(I’m Larry, I’m old, but i can take a fucking joke)

On a lighter note, The Commish responds to the conspiracy claims on the bulldogs blog. Joe has clearly been conspiring to have the Rebels and Gray Bats combine to go 0-8 to start the season.

There was no conspiracy for the Ducks (5-0) to score four more runs than the Rebels (0-3) two games ago.

Since losing to the Rebels last season the Ducks have gone 12-2-1 in regular season games (that’s got to be near the top in the league, if not the best)
While the Rebels have gone 2-14
(definitely near the bottom, probably the worst)

Even a second grader can interpret those numbers.

Go Ducks.

Knock that “z” off the end of their name today.

Duck Joke.

2009 Ducks Baseball, NABA, pittsburgh NABA
This surfaced in my in-box today:

DUCKS IN HEAVEN !!!

Three women die together in an accident

And go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says,

‘We only have one rule here in heaven:
Don’t step on the ducks!’

So they enter heaven, and sure enough,

There are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck,

And although they try their best to avoid them,

The first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says,

‘Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to
Spend eternity chained to this ugly man!’

The next day,

The second woman steps accidentally on a duck

And along comes St. Peter,

Who doesn’t miss a thing.

With him is another extremely ugly man.

He chains them together

With the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and,

Not wanting to be chained
For all eternity to an ugly man, is very,

VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months

Without stepping on any ducks,

But

One day St.Peter comes up to her

With the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on

…. Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says,

‘I wonder what I did to deserve being
Chained to you for all of eternity?’

The guy says,

‘I don’t know about you,

But I stepped on a
Duck.

Quack, Quack

OwlZ Week. Fundamentals are the Crutch of the Weak and Talentless.

2009 Ducks Baseball, pittsburgh NABA, South Oakland Ducks Baseball
Sources tell me that the Owlz in fact put their pants on two legs at a time.

(you can take your stinkin’ trophy and shove it up your ass – Lupus, Bears secondbaseman)
(thanks for the edit #9)

The double header against the Owlz (2:30 Findlay Sportsplex) is going to give the first place South Oakland Ducks of the North Side a good idea of what has to be done to knock off the defending champs.

Hopefully that does not include adding Jose Canseco to our roster. (If he’s not already on the Owlz)

Their team is a mystery.

Can they be THAT good?
Are they as unbeatable as they think?
Will they ever update their “My Site Newz”( I think they should start a blog that is more condusive to comments/anonymous cheap shots and harassment. )
will Rob Cool be held liable when someoen has a seizure while reading their current team site?
Will their disregard of the letter “s” be their charmic downfall?
Will Kirk Gibson and RolandThompsonGunner steup up their blogging during a week where I’m up to my balls in work?

We will find out.

Everyone hates these guys, and most of their roster is new.
I’ll reserve judgement.

A hidden camera has captured footage of a recent attempt on an Owlz pitching prospect.
&
Kenny Powers talks about what it takes to excell in the Pittsburgh NABA.

I hope the PCB schedule doesn’t interfere with the availability of some of our starters.
If so we will get by and not make excuses.

I am in favor of the Owlz raising the bar in terms of competition and talent in our league.
it forces the rest of the teams to do the same if they want to contend for a title.
I welcome the challenge, so do the rest of the Ducks.
We are heading towards breaking into A and AA divisions.
Coach Bombay has tried to aquire the best talent he knows, so has Rob Cool.
Sentence structure is a crutch for the talentless.

***

I recommend anyone who has a problem with the way Joe runs our league, to volunteer to take his spot as commissioner, or to provide potential solutions to the problems they have (perhaps during winter meetings), instead of just complaining.
(some people do offer these suggestions)

Don’t let his hulking pecks fool you. Joe (above left) is actually quite approachable and welcomes ideas to imrpove our league.

The minor problems this league has today would have been welcomed four years ago.
Pittsburgh NABA all-time HR champion and six year veteran, Kenny Powers agrees, I’m sure.

(I owe Kenny another $1.65 for using this image.)

The undefeated Ducks are ready to shock the PGH NABA world this weekend.

Quack.

Game 5 Recap: I once knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. Ducks 9, Eagles 2

2009 Ducks Baseball, NABA, pittsburgh NABA, South Oakland Ducks Baseball
A. SMITH: 7IP, 8H, 3BB, 9 K, 2ER
K. GIBSON: 2 for 3, 2B, 3 rbi, fundamentally dominant play at 1B

Adam Smith (2-0) scattered 8 hits and 3 walks around 9 strike outs as he allowed 2 runs over seven innings to record a complete game victory, and lead the South Oakland Ducks of the North Side (5-0) to victory over the Peaceful Easy Feelings (2-2).

The Heartache Tonight’s jumped out to an early 2-0 lead thanks to a walk a triple and a single in the top of the second.

A key double play was turned by third-baseman, MVP candidate, Jesse Smith, and McWatson with no out and runners on first and second.
The Desperadoes could not capitalize on their early momentum.

Screamin’ Eagles coach, Craig T. Nelson was thrilled with the early lead.

The 2-0 deficit was the first time the Ducks trailed this season.
South Oakland responded.
Novak walked, and Kirk Gibson stepped to the plate,

Gibson doubled to right, Novak scored.

The Ducks would add another run in the third when Gwin and J.Smith both walked, and Darren Daulton, playing in his second game as a Duck, singled home Gwin.

the former Phillie had a huge game.
2 for 3, 2B, 2 RBI

The score remained tied 2-2 until the bottom of the fourth, when the You Can’t Hide Your Lyin’ Eyes’ pitcher, and NORML supporter, Slater’s high wore off, and he gave up five runs before Craig T. Nelson gave him the hook in favor of Bobby Hoying.

The rally very well may have started with Spags and Kolaja walking, then Gwin singling them both in two to take a 7-5 lead over the Confederacy in RBI. Jesse Smith then hit the fence in center, and slid in for a triple just like an MVP would. Daulton doubled in Smith, and Gibson singled him home. Novak added a double of his own, and scored on a Watson single.

Holmes and Watson form an elite double play combo.

The Witchay Women brought in a reliver and the Ducks scored two more runs, both charged to Slater.

Slater was lit up.

Adam Smith finished strong striking out two batters in the top of the seventh.

If I used the scorebook for these recaps, I’d know more.
Feel free to correct me in the comments.
Haters, chime in please, don’t just call me names on the main website write-in ballot.
I’ve been called worse by better.

I’m off to sleep in the right center gap at Spring Hill tonight so I’ll be ready to get my five hour pre-game routine in tomorrow.

The Ducks have the best record in the league.

  • Five and
  • Best start in team history by a million miles, figures everyone makes the playoffs this year.
  • Jones manages to get everyone at least an at-bat every game, and still win.
  • Trap game against the Gray Bats tomorrow night, before a six day lay-off prior to a double header against the Owlz.
  • Adam Smith leads the team in K’s, our team ERA is under 3.
  • Get your notebooks ready.
  • Kirk loves hitting at Pie Traynor
  • Jesse Smith’s OPS is 1.380
  • Former team MVP, A.Smith is having his best year since 2007 and leads the team in K’s.
  • The Rebels are 0-3.
  • The Owlz open the season against the Hotel California’s on Wednsday. How good are they?
  • 5-0.
  • Mantis and Dr. Jones tomorrow.
  • To be 6-0 heading into the Owlz double header is huge, they are going to pose a formidable challenge.
  • Haters, so many haters.
  • We’d have hit 4 hrs today on a NORML field.
  • Legalize it.
  • The Gray Bats have been hard at work making excuses for their poor start, lets give them something more to complain about tomorrow.
  • I’d like to welcome rolandthompsongunner and kirk gibson to the blogging staff, and for reminding me of the weird ass youtube roots of this blog.
  • O00h.

Quack.

Game Day [5], Ducks at Eagles.

2009 Ducks Baseball, NABA, pittsburgh NABA, South Oakland Ducks Baseball
The first place South Oakland Ducks of the North Side (4-0) look to remain unbeaten, as they take on the upstart Hotel Californias, (2-1) in an important divisional game
at 12 pm at Pie Traynor Field.
The Ducks beat the Black Sox 5-3 the Black Sox beat the Eagles, 8-0, clearly an 8 to -2 victory is in order.

The Eagles Greatest Hits vol.1 isn’t one of the best selling albums of all-time for nothing.

Don Henley should not be taken lightly.

The Ducks have a chance to go 5-0, The Eagles are in second place at 2-1
the the Black Sox are a suprising 1-2

the Owlz (0-0) are still busy talking about how great they are and how their play is going to do the talking not some gay blog.
the Gray Bats (0-3) need Sorosky, and their other starting pitcher, neither will be there Monday.
The Confederacy (0-2 ) still haven’t knocked in more runs (5) than Chris Wojton or Ben Gwin.
If Wojton or Casale scores more than once today, they will eclipse the five runs the Confederacy has scored through two weeks of the season.
Feathers and Tremmel deserve better.


The Pittsburgh Marathon takes place today, adjust travel plans accordingly.

Joe Walsh goes solo
Bad News for the Eagles.


Who was coaching the bases yesterday?

Quack.

Game Day [4] Ducks vs. Hurricanes.

NABA, pittsburgh NABA, South Oakland Ducks Baseball

Ducks at Hurricanes
Saturday, 5:30 pm Warrendale Park.

Who does Miami think they are leaving the Big East.

I’m kind of hoping for a rain-out,–gotta work.
Dr. Jones or Capatin America will be on the hill tonight.


***

New Jersey Police Officers:
Bad News for the Hurricanes.

Quack.

(Eagerly awaiting the recap from Rolandthompsongunner, and Kirk Gibson)

-BG

4-0, do it.