The Gray Bats have no chance against us if we have our best lineup. The only way they win this game is if we have guys playing out of position, or still drunk, or whatever, and even then with any nine of us I like our chances. Still, these guys are 2-12, and are acting like they can play on the same level as us. Even though we beat them 8-0 last time we faced them. We beat them by more than the Owlz did, although to be fair the owlz looked like they were sleep walking, and playing different positions for fun and shit. We all know there’s the biggest hockey game of most of our lives the night before.
If you are a Duck and want to be able to look me, Ben Gwin – the founder and captain of this team in the eye ever again, you will stay as sober as you have to the night before to be effective Saturday, and you will show up ready to play. You will be ready to bury this joke of a team, who has a great starting pitcher, Ben Sorosky (whom I have much respect for as an opponent and occasional teammate.) and a couple other guys who can hit. But nothing else.
They have called out our team, our blog, myself, Kirk, Dr. Jones, the town of South Oakland. They don’t even incorporate the Batman logo into their uniform. They have called out the tournament winning Blues team that Sorosky, Strom and I put together (which is really odd, and may not concern you – Larry probably thinks the Gray Bats could beat the Blues though)
They (mostly larry who is batting a robust .200, and wouldn’t sniff the field if he were a Duck Black Sock [correct singular?] Owl, Bulldog, Hurricane, Warrior, etc…) are taking things to another level and I can’t understand it. This goes beyond the Rebels response to the Confederacy comments, (which i guess i can wrap my head around if i try.)
We lost to the Rebels in an 8am game. We were worse than the Rebels that day, and it may cost us a bye. We can not be worse than the Gray Bats on Saturday.
We are playing for a shot at the Division and a bye. Our immediate long term our goal is to pass the Black Sox – the team immediatly ahead of us in the standings, not to fend off the Gray Bats. “One game at a time” is a cliche for a reason.
{Awkward TRANSITION_CITY}{}{ the trash talk between the 10-3 Ducks and the 2-12 Gray Bats is heating up, check the following post and the comments in the post below it. Also the B-Sox Owlz game is this weekend. Adding fuel to that fire is like throwing brush in a volcano. That is the most intense rivalry in the league, there is genuine disdain between those two teams.
I’ve never seen a 2-12 team with so much to say…
Thank you all for reading and commenting it is greatly appreciated.
Is LarryZ delusional or are the Gray Bats conducting some grander scheme in an effort to interfere with the Ducks’ mental well-being? I will allow the readers to be the judges.
LarryZ, after accusing members of the Ducks of depositing trash and unnecessary banter on the now defunct Pittsburgh Gray Bats blog, has decided to continue his talking in the most hypocritical of fashions.
LarryZ wrote:
[with regard to the ranking of Monongahela Division teams] Owls #1, Sox #2, Bats #3, Ducks #4, then everyone else
LarryZ has contributed several other ridiculous statements, but I am going to let this one stand alone so that readers can focus solely on it. I will take this opportunity to provide a definition of the word delusion.
delusion: a persistent false psychotic belief regarding the self or persons that is maintained despite indisputable evidence to the contrary
Of course, one who is delusional is under the influence of delusion.
Let’s see, is the Gray Bats’ belief persistent and false? Incessantly asserting that the Gray Bats are better than the Ducks may well be construed as both persistent and false. Are these beliefs maintained by the Bats despite indisputable evidence to the contrary? Well, the evidence is about as near indisputable as possible. The Ducks have 10 wins, the Bats have 1. Both teams have played a similar amount of games and similar opponents. To most people, this situation can only be described as one in which the Gray Bats are delusional.
I know I get this sort of odd reputation that all I like to do is take shots at opponents on stupid message boards, but this is not really the case. I have said on several occasions that the Bats are likely better than their record indicates, and that they deserve more respect than their record commands, but their continued hubris is laughable. I commend their pride in their team, but their defense of these positions has become outlandish.
Next, let’s consider the remarks of Sorosky (who is slightly more careful about his comments, as he adds that this weekend’s game ought to be “great,” indicating that he feels the Ducks and Bats are at least on a comparable level), with my comments in green:
The Gray Bats will start to pick up some victories and will end up having more wins than the bottom two teams.Maybe even more than the Ducks. What?!? Are you serious? I’m not going to throw the bottom two teams under the bus, but you may well finish above them. But more wins than the Ducks? You realize the probability of this happening is <.01? The Ducks would have to lose nearly the rest of their games and the Bats win nearly all of theirs.
Gauranteed [sic] we take one of the next two from the Ducks.Just like the guaranteed victory in game one of the matchup, right?
No team I have ever been a part of in the NABA has been season sweeped [sic] by the Ducks.Don’t be naïve.
[on the Gray Bats lasting longer than the Ducks in the playoffs] It’s going to happen again just like it did in the fall 08.Hm…I was unaware the Ducks fielded a fall league team.
[on intimidating Gwin and me with his pitching prowess]Congrats! Which team won two down the stretch and snagged a playoff birth?
Look, I have no doubt that the Gray Bats can make a late season push and surprise some people in the playoffs, but I could not let the absurdity of their recent comments go unnoticed. I’m glad you are looking forward to the game this weekend Sorosky and Larry. We are looking forward to it also.
Ducks need to be ready to dominate bright and early on Saturday morning.
Batting Practice today: 6:15 at the Pitt IM field.
The Ducks currently sit in third place after the Rebel army surrendered a double header to Kenny Powers this weekend.
Kenny Powers is a beast, they probably would have won both games anyway, but who knows. Baseball is a funny game sometimes.
The Owlz are a nifty 10-0 and have scored 100 runs, allowing only 11 The Black Sox are 10-2 South Oakland of the North Side is 10-3.
The Owlz and Black Sox play each other this weekend. Blood-Bath City.
If we take care of business against the defensively impaired Gray Bats ( who did not call the cops on the Owlz since they did not throw at Larry Z- the same Larry who said Alex Warren was overrated in this blog’s comment section) we will gain ground on one of these teams.
Tangent.
The Gray Bats trailed only by a couple runs heading into the sixth inning, they had been crying conspiracy, and it was somewhat effective, then the Owlz brought in the Warren Commission their second gunman theory was debunked.
Single Bullet Every Conspiracy Needs a Patsy
Warren held the Owlz lead and the Gray Bats dropped game one of the double header.
*** Since neither team has a blog to facilitate trash talking, and since I have an amicable relationship with players on each team, I will pour some gasoline, light a match and walk away. As Kirk Gibson will tell you, it’s a fun thing to do, and will hopefully get a good discussion thread going.
My sources are anonymous as always.
From the Black Sox :
“F___ Scott Dunn he’s overrated. We can hit him.
“We can hit their junkballers… We’ll take care of the Owlz”
“Rob Cool is a homo”
From the Owlz’ss’z:
“The Black Sox get older and slower every year, they’re out of shape”
“Their defense is poor, they just try to intimidate teams, they can’t touch our pitching.”
“The Black Sox do not impress me…”
“Dunn no-hit them twice last season.”
A while back there was some trash talk in the comments in relation to the Owlz ability to hit Slavicek, who may or may not be forced to undergo season-ending surgery.
Both these teams stand in the Ducks way of a regular season division title, and our road to the Championship.
We have a win against the Black Sox, but the Owlz dominated a decimated Ducks lineup as though we were the Gray Batz – sweeping a Mother’s Day double header on a day that saw Nick Homa play shortstop.
The Black Sox seem to be very preoccuped with the Owlz, not so much South Oakland of the North Side, and that’s fine.
The Owlz seem more preoccupied with pursuing an invite into the Independant League, and getting Ozzie Canseco to DH for them (two z’s in his name, i think he’s a perfect fit).
The Owlz are like a combination of Mr. Burns’ softball team from that Simpsons’ episode and RaZor Ramon, – I think a lot of teams mail it in against them and the Black Sox before they even take the field. – sometimes literally as they both have forfeit wins this season.
For example: The Gray Bats held out their second best pitcher against the Owlz in game 2 yesterday conceding victory so they’d have a chance against the Bulldogs. I see the logic, but I believe in going with the guy who gives you the best chance to win that game. You play your best against the best.
The Black Sox do intimidate teams, but they are 10-2 for a reason. They still have pitching depth and there is not an easy out in their lineup.
These teams hate each other more than the Capulets and Montagues. There are good odds on a fight breaking out in the stands.
Wallis’ gravity ball was effective for a bit, until the Owlz wised up. (haha – wised up) There were many errors and base running mistakes by the Gray Bats. I haven’t looked, but I bet there is a sentiment of “moral victory” on the Chicken Soup for the Gray Bats Soul blog.
It looks like he’s crying
These guys have three blogs. (counting Sorosky’s) jesus. If blogs were quality outfielders your team would have five wins. woooooooooooooo!
“Show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser.” -Vince Lombardi.
The Don Henley’s and the Confederacy round out the Whales Conference. Both teams forfeit a lot. Our loss to the Rebels this season looms, unbelievable. They beat us fair and square but the war is not over, not by a mile. The Union will not stand divided. We don’t play them for a year. We have done a great job of winning five straight after a tough loss to a team we should have beaten.
I guarantee a win for the Bulldogs tonight over the Gray Bats.
The Commish hits for the cycle. Vinny goes yard twice.
The Hurricanes split a double header with the bulldogs over the weekend. Redemption Song on the best blog in the league.
The Hurricanes are tough, they are one of only two teams over .500 in the Campbell Conference.
The Warriors are always competitive, and the other + .500 team out west. I attribute this to Heckman being a supreme dick, and his resurgence as a pitcher. Any team with The Ultimate Warrior has a chance to win. The Bulldogs will still take that division.
I think all teams making the playoffs has not had the desired effect as guys don’t show up for games they deem meaningless. What’s the big deal, we’ll still make the playoffs, who cares if we go 4-20 with seven forfeits? Unless your competing for a bye, and right now half the teams in our Conference aren’t there seems to be a malaise surrounding some teams. It was voted on so this is what we have. It hasn’t made it any less fun for me personally.
Ducks vs. Gray Bats Saturday at 8am. (They are better than 1-10, I’d say they should be 4-7.)
On a Day when Kenny Chesney wreaked havok on the Pittsburgh NABA – leading to two forfeits, an 8-man start from the Bulldogs, Depo getting cut from the Ducks, and who knows how many unwanted pregnancies, the Ducks flew high; higher than you were that time in high school when you shared a joint with that weird kid from Bucks County, only to find out after the fact it was laced with PCP.
South Oakland of the North Side won their tenth game of the season playing fantasic defense behind another outstanding, starting pitching performance, shutting out the Bombers on D-Day.
Mike Fletcher scattered five hits over five innings and struck out five Bombers, without giving up a walk, and Rick Whalen drove in what proved to be the game winning run with a two out, 2-run double in the second to lead the South Oakland Ducks of the North side to a 4-0 victory over the Allegheny Bombers. Adam Smith pitched two scoreless innings in relief, and the Ducks record improved to 10-3.
The game was delayed by fog for a half hour or so, then the Bombers were cleared for take off.
It was a pitcher’s duel early, the guy from the Bombers, who is probably their regular shortstop, pitched well limiting the Ducks to only a few base runners and limiting the number of hard hit balls as the game progressed through the early morning.
The biggest difference was the Ducks defense (error free on the day), and the ability of the bottom of the Ducks lineup to get on base and produce runs. Captain America, Britton, Slick, and Dr. Jones batted in the 7-10 spots in the lineup and accounted for three runs.
In the second inning, Captain walked and Britton singled, then Rick hit a double to left center, then it was Jones’ turn A napalm blast down the first baseline to drive in the 3rd run.
It was 3-0 Ducks when this happened.
It was going to be a brawl the rest of the way.
The Bombers threw it around a bit.
Kirk Gibson would score on a passed ball.
4-0 Ducks.
The Bombers threatened, getting men on first and second a couple times, but they could not get the big hit they needed. Mike “Tyler” Fletcher got big outs when he needed inducing many groundballs which were fielded and thrown accurately for outs. Dickey made a great backhand play on what appeared to be a sure hit up the middle in the 5th, securing the shutout. The Bobmers’ 7-9 hitters combined to get on base once all game ( I think), a single by their last hitter who acted like he had just won the Atlantic City Memorial Day Tournament when he blooped one in front of the Ducks’ left fielder who was playing with a pulled quad.
The Ducks 7-10 hitters got on base 6 of eleven times, including Coby’s sweet hbp and stolen base in a pinch hit appearance for Wojton. Coby has more stolen bases than Wojton.
Nothing like a guy who has gone 1 for the season talking shit after a 4-0 loss to a team that is six games better in the standings.
Aside from him, the Bombers were solid human beings, and had to be missing some players. Good luck to them the rest of the way.
bullet points & Mid-Season Notes
Defense and starting pitching have carried our team through the month long stretch of one game per week.
Remember when we used to play on Monday Nights?
The Dr. and I took in some of the double header between the Owlz and the Gray Batz – the Ducks have a better chance of beating the Owlz than we do of losing to the Gray Bats – take that however you want.
The Owlz seemed disinterested and still smoked the Gray Bats, albeit not by the 25 runz we may have assumed.
You could have been a Duck Sorosky, all those unearned runzzzz – wooooo.
The Gray Bats will come out with their guns blazing, ala the guy[s] who shot 50 cent, this saturday morning. If we lose I’m handing over admin of the blog to Larry for the rest of the year – no one wants that, not even Larry. All hands on deck.
Slick Rick and the Invisible Hand have been our most improved players this season, their contributions have been noticable, both have embraced and thrived in a reduced roles on a winner after struggling through the Red Scare years. – While Wojton is finding his stroke, and before Captain America got his command back, they have picked up the slack at the plate and on the mound.
Kirk Gibson is also playing up to his potential after batting only .260 or something last seaosn – a natural shortstop playing without an ACL he has made a seamless transition to first base, and is a corner stone of our infield – and allows last year’s first baseman an outfielder by trade to get back to his natural position.
Depo was having a solid year, until he skipped Saturday’s game to rest for Kenny Chesney and was cut. Sorry, Depo.
Our firstbaseman last year was gay anyway.
Dr. Jones has taken this team from the scrap heap and turned it into one of the top teams in the league.
Dr. Radical for Life.
Aside from Jesse Smith, Tony Casale has been our most valuable player.
Britton Mike and Mike have embraced the time-share at second base.
Watson’s ankle is healing, I hope.
Darren Daulton is unreal, when we don’t have to play at 8am he leads the team in Avg. doubles, and allows Jesse to play 3rd, where he imposes a Mike Schmidt like presence.
If we beat the Gray Bats (1-12) on Saturday we assure ourselves that we will finish with a better record than them and we will equal our win total from last season with ten games to play.
South Oakland Ducks of the North Side (9-3) vs. Allegheny Bombers (5-7) 8am, John Herb Field.
Bad idea
These guys love Disco.
The Allegheny Bombers dropped two close ones to the Matadors last weekend. According to my sources they can hit, or at least score runs against the Gray Bats. They have named their team after either the Yankees, or death-toting pilots.
I’m not sure which is more offensive.
All bets are off for the 8am start time. Bomberman (above)
I have several close friends who are English Major writerly types. My buddy Bryan wrote this.
Was gonna post this to your blog…thought it might be a little gay…also wanted to work in how three little black kids showed up at the end of your game on sunday playing with broken bats…ran onto the field to mess around and then they turned the lights off.
There is something about baseball that inclines the written word towards a nostalgic glorification. So often in movies, books, and television documentary’s there is this resonating obsession with the grass, the sky, leather, wood, players as heroes, all the elements of baseball being described romantically, as if a thesis about the best parts of what it is to be an American man.
Some strange feeling that awakens the senses to being alive, as if there is no better place to be alive, spectator or player, than near a baseball field, in all its endless detail and all its possibilities. Each play is a renewal, a challenge of focus and timing, a mixture of curiosity and fear, patience and aggression, a chance for guilt or redemption.
And the tools are heralded, gloves oiled, balls massaged, bat handles meticulously taped and tacked. The debt and gratitude of the wooden bats, breaking one is like breaking a limb, something so precious, so cared for and entrusted to be the conduit of a man’s god given skill, clarity and timing.
I watched a player borrow another man’s bat and line one for a hit. Returning to the dugout he thanked the owner of the bat so genuinely it was as if he had been the recipient of a kidney. Likewise broken bats are smashed to the ground by the handle tested for cracks and fired into a nearby trash-can with furrowed brows, muttered curses, and dark feelings.
And the baseball itself is more than an object. A baseball symbolizes something when you hold it in your hand, the many varied ways to throw it and how someone chooses to and has learned to throw it mean something, it’s like a person’s signature.
“You have to know the feel of a baseball in your hand, going back awhile, connecting many things, before you can understand why a man would sit in a chair at four in the morning holding such an object, clutching it-how it fits in the palm so reassuringly, the corked center making it buoyant in the hand, and the rough spots on an old ball, the marked skin, how an idle thumb likes to worry the scuffed horsehide. You squeeze a baseball. You kind of juice it or milk it. The resistance of the packed material makes you want to press harder. There’s an equilibrium, an agreeable animal tension between the hard leather object and the sort of clawed hand, veins stretching with the effort. And the feel of raised seems across the fingertips, cloth contours like road bumps under the knuckle joints-how the whorled cotton can be seen as a magnified thumbprint, a blowup of the convoluted ridges on the pad of your thumb. The ball was deep sepia, veneered with dirt and turf and generational sweat-it was old, bunged up, it was bashed and tobacco-juiced and stained by natural processes and by the lives behind it, weather-spattered and character as a seafront house”. (Don Dellilo).
To play baseball as a child is like participating in magic. Taking that tense anxious excited feeling before and game and releasing it on the field and seeing what happens. I watched a men’s amateur baseball game a few Sundays ago. Late into the night, the myth of each team’s best player gathering , concealing a deep urge to take the field scoop up a grounder and fire it across the diamond as hard as I could, slam a closed fist into the palm of the glove, grab my nuts, adjust my hat, and spit on the field. The urge to play a game that is not easily played or won, with concise rules, unexpected outcomes, and offers the reward of, both, personal and collective pleasure.
If the Bombers named themselves as such as an ode to Kubrick, they are my heroes. More than likely they did not.
They are fighting for first place in the Campbell Conference.
Naturally after i post a “sex with ducks” youtube I get a league wide, “keep your blogs clean because other people read” them email.
If you’re that easily offended go read Larry’s Reader’s Digest-inspired Gray Bats Blog (that’s not aimed at you, commish)
Larry, shocked that the internet can breed anonymous mud-slinging, may be shutting down his blog.
I find managers betting on their own baseball team offensive and negative.
No way did Charlie “Hustle” do this ad to cover his gambling loses.
Mid Season Report on the 9-3 South Oakland Ducks of the North Side up later.
Unless there is a torrential down-pour, BP at 6:30 tonight at the Pitt Field. EDIT: the rain has been declared torrential enough to cancel bp, we’ll go friday at 5:30.
South Oakland Ducks Baseball 