The South Oakland Ducks might play Thursday at John Herb Fieldat 8:30pm, vs. Bulldogs or Black Sox, Saturday at 12pm against the Confederacy at North Park. There will be a double header Sunday at Avonworth high School, one game will be against the Rakers, and the other will be against the Bulldogs or Black Sox.
pittsburgh NABA
Stormy Monday,…A fictional day in the life of an amateur baseball league’s president
pittsburgh NABA, South Oakland Ducks BaseballThere have been a record number of rain-outs this season, it’s got to be stressful for Joe, to have to reschedule all these games and deal with the domino effect of inconveniences resulting from such poor weather. His team is in the middle of a playoff run, and I’m sure he would much rather focus on simply playing the game, and not dealing with guys like this…..
Calvin’s life is great at this point, his American History course is going wonderfully, and he can see improvement in the players he coaches. He is hopeful he will be able to coach third next season. His Amateur baseball team, the Gravediggers wins the regular season title, and despite losing in the first round of the playoffs, he had a good season and is happy he has the chance to keep playing baseball. After hitting for the cycle in a post-seaosn all-star game, he pops the question to Annie, and she says “yes”, life is good.
When he returns from the honeymoon in Niagra Falls, Calvin learns that the President of the Cincinnati Amateur Baseball League has been siphoning league funds to subsidize his paint thinner addiction, and has been thrown in jail after knocking off a string of convenience stores in Northern Kentuky. Calvin, in a moment he will ponder for the rest of his life, volunteers to take over as League President
He thinks to himself, “I have summers off, I am well organized, and I love baseball. I will be a great league president.”
Fast Forward, one year later, mid season, Calvin Davis is president of the ten team CABL. Here is a typical Saturday in June day for the new president.
- 6:00am Wake up, ten mile jog, 100 push-ups, 100 sit-up, one shot of whiskey.
- 7:00am Poo, shower, shave, shot of whiskey.
- 8:00am Breakfast with the sports page: two raw eggs, a box of Wheaties, half a side of Bacon, one shot of whiskey
- 9:00am Check league email: in-box shows 897 unread messages. After a shot of whiskey, Calvin browses the emails, 297 are hate mail from teams 1, 2, 5, and 7, complaining about the 65 year old umpire who demands to work games alone, but can’t remember the inning, count or number of outs. 300 messages are from teams 3, 4, 8, and 9 regarding their late league dues, which Calvin needed a week ago in order to secure field times for rain dates and rescheduling. 200 emails regarding why Calvin’s “Gravediggers” have the easiest schedule this season, and 90 e-request from teams 1-9 to have games rescheduled. 10 emails demanding Calvin return the bases and rakes to the designated league equipment shed.
- 9:15am Sends polite, but firm email to umpire association inquiring why his previous 25 requests to have the mildly retarded umpire not work any more league games have gone unfulfilled. Responds with “no” to all requests, and sends a polite, but firm league wide email requesting all league dues be paid before the 1/4 mark of the season or teams will be disbanded, and that whomever took the rakes and the bases from the league equipment shed will have to return them, or be fined $50.
- 11:00am Recieves call from Gravedigger’s head coach Quinn Zimmerman, who frantically rants about team six’s blog post in which he is depicted as the “Paul Bearer”, who will “eventually betray the Gravediggers in a manner similar to the WWF’s 1996 Summer Slam when Paul Bearer joins forces with Mankind and smashes the urn over the Undertaker’s head, and he loses his powers from beyond the grave, forcing the return of the less creepy, biker Undertaker at the next WrestleMania, who was no where near as cool. “I mean, I don’t have powers from beyond the grave, and I would never betray you guys, he was stretching to go from “Gravediggers” to “Undertakers” anyway, this guy is ridiculous.” Calvin assures Quinn, the post was a joke, and that they will just take it out on Team six when they play later in the day. Calvin turns off his phone.
- 12:30pm Annie comes home after working 16 straight hours at Cincinnati General Hospital to find Calvin in his jock strap and stirrups sitting at his lap top pouring over CABL spread sheets with a half empty bottle of whiskey. She complains that ever since Calvin took the job, he has slipped dangerously past “social drinker” level and her private area is “getting lonely” She rips into him claiming, “what good is that huge man-wand of yours if you won’t ever take off your jock strap.” Calvin replies in a loving, but firm tone, “Annie, you know I love you, but I have a twelve game hitting streak going, and I haven’t taken off my jock strap or made sweet love to you during the streak, haven’t you seen Bull Durham?, don’t mess with the streak.” Annie goes to sleep, Calvin returns to the spread sheet.
- 2:00pm, turns phone back on-73 voice mails, shot of whiskey: browses messages: 20 from Team One, complaining that Team Three got both Ken Griffeys to play on their team and that it wasn’t fair, two from Team three letting him know that they contacted the national office and there is no rule against former pro’s in the CABL, and that they have two new roster additions. 31 messages from Team Four complaining that Team Seven broke the innings pitched per week rule and should forfeit their last game. 10 messages from Team Seven claiming they had the rule book and the week started on Monday, not Sunday and Team Four is bitter and they stink at baseball, so shut up already. 7 messages from members of team eight, saying their backup catcher stole the rakes and bases, and sold them for money to pay off gambling debts, and has been missing since last Friday, and are there any free agent catchers available. 2 messages from the umpire association, citing non-discriminatory hiring policies, and assuring they will minimize the presence of the “slow” umpire. 1message from Coach Zimmerman complaining about a blog post by Team Six which shows a youtube clip of the Monster truck “Gravedigger” bursting into flames, and its driver suffering 3rd degree burns, the caption of which reads: Coach Zimmerman, is a flamer and will destroy the Gravediggers.
2:15-Emails team eight, says he will overlook fine, citing extenuating circumstances. checks Team Six’s blog, laughs so hard he spits out his whiskey.
4:00 pm Team Five calls and says the umpire who showed up for their game against team Nine was not the half-wit, but was entirely drunk, and has passed out on top of home plate. Shot of whiskey. Calvin goes to umpire the game.
4:20 pm, Calvin arrives at the the field, strips the drunk umpire down to his boxers and uses his gear, however the umpire weighs just over 340 lbs, and the best the teams can do is roll him back to the back stop. Calvin umpires the game wearing over-sized equipment with the passed out half naked umpire rolled into a ball ten feet behind home plate.
5:00pm Manager of Team Nine, argues a call and upon his ejection takes second base with him. Calvin offers the hubcap of his Chevy as second base, and continues to umpire the game.
6:45pm the game ends in extra innings, team nine wins on a wild pitch that gets stuck beneath the beached umpire. Calvin changes at the field, and hurries to his 7:30 game against Team Six.
7:0pm Calvin fields three consecutive calls as he approaches the field. The first from Team Five demanding a forfeit due to playing the game with a hubcap for a base, and that the ball was stuck under the umpire and the catcher would have thrown the winning run out at the plate had he been able to get the ball; the second call is from the umpires association threatening to break their contract after reports of stripping and rolling an umpire were reported, the third is from Coach Zimmerman, ranting about a bad “necrophilia joke” on Team Six’s blog.
7:15pm arrives the field just in time to hastily warm up for his game. Shot of whiskey.
10:00pm Calvin’s hitting streak ends, and his game against Team Six ends in a tie when the lights go out 45 minutes earlier than the county official said they would.
11:00pm Calvin arrives at home, realizes he never replaced his hubcap. Shot of whiskey. He sits down to enter his teams score into the league website. Checks email, 1,728 unread messages. Shot of whiskey. Among the emails are complaints from Quinn about Team Six’s write up of the game, in which their team blogger rants about the lights and posts a of the Undertaker dying at the Royal Rumble “That guy is a freaking singles hitter, where does he get the balls to write this stuff? and we’re the “Gravediggers” not the “Undertakers””
11:15pm Calvin finally takes off his jock after his hitting streak ends, and is ready to copulate with his wife. However, when he goes into the bed room, he finds a lengthy letter from Annie, she says she is leaving him. She cites his drinking and unhealthy dedication to a baseball league full of teams that don’t even appreciate his hard work and dedication, when he had a beautiful woman at home. adding insult to injury, “I always liked Quinn Zimmerman better than you, and he doesn’t have a problem taking off his jock strap. Shenwrites that she has changed her cell phone number, leaves no forwarding address, and takes his Tony Gwynn autographed baseball.
11:30pm emails coach Zimmerman, says he’s decided to play for Team Six.
12:00am, shot of whiskey. six hours of sleep before Calvin does it all over again.
Rain Out, Schedule Ramifications
pittsburgh NABA, South Oakland Ducks Baseball, who names their team the Rebels?First, I’d like to apologize to Nick Homa’s grandparent’s for the use of profanity a few posts back. The line in question it is a quote from the film “The Big Lebowski”, which is one of my favorites. I assure you I don’t hate anyone, and don’t normally use the f-word as a modifier in my writing. I will temper my language from now on. Thanks for reading, and providing Nick with wonderful baseball genes.
Storm
This game will be made up some time this week. Thankfully, Storm will be fighting giant robots in a far away galaxy, and will not be able to help her friend Joe delay the inevitable beating by the South Oakland Ducks any longer than a few days. (put that on your bulletin board, you Mutant lovers.)
In other news, the Ducks will take on the Confederacy on Saturday at a field to be determined sometime in the noon hour. That will give me another week to anger them into hitting me with a pitch.
South Oakland will potentially play four games in six days this week. We will be provided 24 hours notice before any games are scheduled.
This is happening league wide in an attempt to get all the rain-outs played, every team will deal with this, so don’t start feeling sorry for ourselves, or mad at Joe just because we had our pitching rotation set on “Decimate” for the final playoff push.
The Ducks’ bullpen is ready to pick up the slack. Jim has been dreaming of this since the Matadors’ game, TC’s wing is well rested, and ready fire.
In theory, I’m in favor of the move. It would cause problems if the Rakers finished with one more game than the Ducks and the Eagles. I don’t like the fact that I may either have to miss work, or a game because of it. So it goes….
We have a chance to get into the playoffs. I will do everything I can to get to the games, it is in our team’s best interest the rest of the Ducks do the same.
Game 20: The Ducks Abide. Ducks 8, Rakers 4
pittsburgh NABA, South Oakland Ducks Baseball
Kirk Gibson doubled to right, and Gwin scored from first, 3-1 Ducks after one.
It appeared as though the Rakers would figure out Guthrie. The Rakers scored two runs in the second, but were hitting the ball hard, Ben Sorosky hit a line drive right at SS, Andrew McCray, Nick Homa threw out a runner at home after a single to left, and Jeremy Barchie flew out deep to left. Their outs all came on hard hit balls.
The Ducks defense was spectacular, they picked up Guthrie in the middle innings, and stole several runs from the Rakers.
Were it not for two “oh-my-god” catches: the fist by right fielder Coby Kolaja, on a flair to right, the second by Gregg Campbell on a ball which seemed destined to be a triple, the Ducks may have found themselves playing catch-up.
Inspired by the defense behind him, Guthrie settled down, and the Rakers bats became as lifeless as the stuffed Duck hanging from the back stop.
After the second inning this was some of the best baseball, we’ve seen this season. Both teams battling for their playoff lives, the plays were made, the pitchers were phenomenal, and the intensity was as thick as the mud behind home plate.
Neither team could take controll of the game, the score was tied 3-3 going into the bottom of the sixth, then it was time.
McCray continued his domination of the Rakers right fielder, a lead off double put the winning run in scoring position with no outs. Nick Homa laid down a perfect sac bunt, and the muck tripped the Rakers fielder, Homa was safe at first. Eric Tans pinch hit for Ken Griffey Kolaja Jr, and reached on an error. Bases loaded, no outs.
KT Murphy; hitless the last two games, benched against the Eagles, stepped to the plate 0 for 2 on the day with a ground out to the pitcher and a strikeout in his previous two at bats. Redemption.
Barchie left one up, and Murphy made him pay, an RBI single and it was 4-3 Ducks.
Garret Moore drove in another run with a fielder’s choice to the right side. with runners on second and third with one out, Adam Smith was intentionally walked to set up the double play.
“Rick” James Spagnola took it personally. In a profanity laced at-bat, Spagnola singled in another run with a shot up the middle, just past a diving Brandon Eberle.
The bases were still loaded for Eric Lee who stomped the life out of the Rakers with his third hit of the day.
Lee doubled to left-center, and the Ducks would take an 8-3 lead into the bottom of the seventh.
After a lead off single, Guthrie got a double play ball, and the Ducks survived three consecutive two-out singles by the Rakers to hold on for the 8-4 victory; the biggest win in a long time for the storied South Oakland franchise.
Thank you to everyone who came out to watch the game.
- Eric Lee had a heroic game, 3-4 2B, 2RBI…It is possible he also stole two bases and threw out two runners at the plate.
- KT had a clutch RBI single late in the Black Sox game, and did it again today.
- I think I had the plate blocked on the first play at home, but that last guy was absolutely out at home.
- If your going to bring a duck noose to our game, bring an American Flag to the Rebels game, if they show up it will be hilarious. Thanks for your perpetuation of the Confederacy nickname as well.
- Speaking of the Rebels, I told John Tremmel I’d mention that he earned a spot on the Braves farm team. The only catch I’ve seen that was almost as sick as the one Campell made, was made by Tremmel, a basic Jim Edmonds over the shoulder type grab. Campbell’s was tougher, by a hair, and it was definitely in a more important game.
- We won this one without our starting SS, our all-star catcher and Wojoton.
- Is Wojoton headed to the DH role, given the emergence of Ken Griffey Kolaja Jr. in right?
- How about three consecutive RBI by the 8, 9, 10 hitters: Murphy, Moore, Spagnola.
- A Smith is hitting around .400 over the last couple games, the Ducks probably have the best Smith, Smith combination with Jesse and Adam.
- Homa had a solid gam at third, and went 1-2 with a run scored.
- Guthrie, the Ducks “other ” all-star pitcher, leads the team in ERA and is tied for first in wins. I think with two games left it’s about time we gave him the “C” on his jersey, we can use….Duck tape. WOOOOOOOOOOO
The Rakers are solid citizens, I wish I could root for them, but we’ve got a Wild Card race on our hands.
Batting Practice at 6pm at the pitt field tomorrow.
To clarify an earlier error, Bulldog Brian Strom can in fact pitch. I just feel he’s a better outfielder than a pitcher, that’s my assessment. He struck me out last year, never again.
Ducks Rakers, Sunday, 3pm, Pie Traynor Field.
pittsburgh NABA, South Oakland Ducks Baseball
I’d like to implore the Ducks to plan some recreational activities for this evening which will not have an adverse effect on their performance in the game tomorrow afternoon.
Drink six beers, not sixteen. Stay up till 1am, not 11am. Everyone’s different; whatever you can handle and still go 4-4 with three doubles.
Read the comments on this post if you haven’t allready
Monongahela Division Round-up, and the last Rakers’ pre-game post.
Thank you, coach Eberle, for putting this web address on your site. Classy move from a guy who has done a good job bringing stability to the Knights/Orioles/Knights/Rakers.
The worst case scenario, a Rakers win today, would put the Ducks a full game behind the Rakers in the race for the last playoff spot. Since we will most likely finish with fewer games played than the Rakers, it is absolutely imperative we take the game tomorrow.
The resurgent Eagles (8-9) have two games at hand on both the Rakers and the Ducks. They have four games left on their schedule (Rebels, Phantoms, Warriors, Black Sox) as of now they will finish with 22 games played.
If nothing changes, the Rakers (9-9) will finish with 23 games played, two battles against the Rebels, a game against the Hurricane-Carters, and two vs. the Ducks.
South Oakland (8-9-2) has two games vs. the Rakers, and a Monday night home game vs. the red hot Bulldogs. The Ducks are scheduled to finish with 22 games.
We have to win, and get some help against the Eagles, (I’m looking at you Warriors). The Rakers are in the same position.
All-star Brian Strom, celebrates the fact his team doesn’t play the Owlz three times a year(I told you the bulletin board material was coming, there will be more)
The Ducks probable starter for Sunday is Engineer, and right handed pitcher, Mark Guthrie, former Knight. Jeremy Barchie is the only
It is likely Barchie and Guthrie will square off against each other, and their former teams tomorrow.
Last season, the Ducks beat the Knights and Barhcie 4-0. A.Smith pitched a shutout. The Ducks swept the Kinghts last year. Theses are not the same Knights, they are now the Rakers and have sweet uniforms.
I miss hitting against Knight’s pitcher,”Fats” McGraw, or whatever his name is.
The Rakers beat the Ducks 4-1 early this season, in a game Rick actually hit a double, and Chris Roth made his only appearance of the season. (he’s hurt pretty bad)
The Ducks roster was just taking shape at that point.
South Oakland has done very well in rematches this season.
Bad news for the Rakers
Is this your homework, Larry?
pittsburgh NABA, South Oakland Ducks BaseballNick Homa has 63 strikeouts.
The Ducks were 8-16 last season, and are currently 8-9-2, with three games remaining on the schedule.
The Eagles (8-9) beat the Black Sox (12-6) last night. The Eagles have four games left.
The Rakers (9-9) have five remaining; two against your South Oakland Ducks.
I’m no math major, but there are a number of scenarios which could lead to a big headache for the league president, regarding rescheduling rain-outs and potentially replaying ties.
There are no heroic tales, without heroic tails…
And there’s this…
Bulletin Board. WOO-HOO
pittsburgh NABA, South Oakland Ducks BaseballThe Rakers have spoken:
Attention all Duck Players,
After Sorosky or Barchie pitches a complete game gem on Sunday, you female Mallards aka female ducks will not be quaking anymore. Because you Ducklings are vulnerable, your inability to fly around the bases and hit the ball off of Sorosky or Barchie will result in an easy victory for the Rakers. On Sunday the Rakers will be Waterfowl hunting some ducks, and end their little winning streak and potential last spot in the playoff run.
Good Luck Ducklings
Bring it on Ducks. Its time for the Rakers to go Duck hunting for the 2nd time this season. Barchie or Sorosky will shut the Ducks down like always to preserve the last playoff spot in the rightful hands on the RAKERS…….”
“It is just stating the facts. The Rakers are strictly business from here on out. The playoffs are upon us and the Rakers will sneak into the last spot. No messing around. The Ducks will be roasted on the campfire after the beating they take on Sunday.”
- To see these remarks in context, check out the comments two posts ago.
- It would be funny if fast51ball wasn’t even on the Rakers, there’s really no way to tell.
- Ducklings…Touché, my friend.
- It’s great to be playing meaningful baseball this late in the season. This is a playoff game on Sunday, all hands on deck, Ducks.
- “Bring it On”?…oh, it will be brought….
Fast51Ball, Glad you enjoy the blog. Thanks.
Rakers prepare to face Ducks on Sunday
pittsburgh NABA, South Oakland Ducks BaseballRakers Head coach Brandon Eberle visited Japan recently, and brought home with him some ancient, far-eastern training techniques. Video below.
We need to watch out for that dog on Sunday, I think its a Bulldog.
I called the Rakers’ forfeit over the Eagles, word is Don Henley was in rehab, and Glen Frey was working his new solo album.
Thanks for reading, Rakers. It’s going to be a good game this weekend.
Playoff atmosphere.
New stuff in the Ducks store. All the proceeds go towards next season’s team fees.
From here on in, its all business.
Go Ducks.
Homa-nyms battle for last playoff spot
pittsburgh NABA, South Oakland Ducks BaseballI was having a hard time thinking of anything derogatory to say about the Rakers.
Thankfully, Rakers sympathizer, Larry posted a harmless comment a couple entries back providing a nice segue into another Lebowski clip. “Good luck” he says. Right.
What does a smart person do if someone swings a rake at his head? he Ducks.
I’m not sure how the term “raking” came to be synonymous with hitting the ball well, but it has.
The Rakers are also sponsored by a landscaping company (the name escapes me but they have a banner), which all of us should patronize if given the chance. What a wonderful team name, given the circumstances. It even ends in “s” which, as a literary traditionalist and a baseball traditionalist), I admire.
TANGLED WEB OF NABA HISTORY
Nich Homa set the Ducks single season strike out record last game.
The Ducks single game record is held by current Raker, Jeremy Barchie, who struckout 17 Black Sox two seasons ago, in a 5-5 tie. The spread on the game was Ducks (-.5), so who knows how legit all those K’s were, I did see a few noted gamblers on the premises.
Barchie came to the Ducks towards the end of the 2006 season, the only loss he suffered as a Duck came at the hands of the Orioles, who were once the Knights, then became the Knights again, before current head coach, Brandon Eberle took charge and they became the Rakers. Barchie conveniently left to play with his friends on the Orioles/Knights/Rakers.
I remember that loss two seasons ago because it was the last time I hit a home run. it was a line drive that traveled at least 290 feet to right center. we were playing on a small field. The home run came off All Star pitcher Ben Sorosky (sp.), off of whom I recorded my first hit of this season. Basically I own that guy. Actually, he is very good and I am fortunate to have had the success I’ve had against him.
The Rakers have great pitching, they don’t seem to score a lot of runs, but they beat the Black Sox three times this season. The only other teams to beat the Black Sox this year are the OwlZz and the Ducks.
It would be quite a different playoff picture if the two expansion teams (the Owlz and Hurricanes) were placed in opposite divisions, but I’m sure the league president’s Bulldogs (10-9) don’t mind, they are tied for third, in the same division as the two win Hurricanes.
We will probably get Barchie or Sorosky this Sunday. I enjoy the challenge of hitting against those two, whom I consider to be two of the best in the league.
Although I don’t think either of them have over 60 K’s this season.
It would be great poetic justice for the Ducks single game strike out record to be set against the Rakers. And for the author of this blog to get beaned in the spine.
- Homa is a beast, he will have a chance to redeem an early season loss to the Bulldogs on Monday.
- McCray grounded into the game ending double play the first time we played the Eagles, he had the game winning RBI on Monday.
- Guthrie is swinging the bat well, he’s due for another triple.
- Every game it’s someone different, coming up with a clutch hit.
- The Eagles were quite loud, right up until the end, when we beat them.
- Class act by Kolaja to let Giess hit for him in his last regular season game of the season.
- TC is doing a better job than I did at finding the balance between getting everyone in and winning. We are assured a better winning percentage than last season, a lot of that is due to how TC has managed. Where were you in ’06, Skip?
- Keep reading Bulldogs, I’ll give you some more bulletin board material in a day or so.
Thanks for reading
pittsburgh NABA, South Oakland Ducks Baseballprofanity waring
A somewhat well thought-out Rakers preview and the rest of my thoughts on the win over the Eagles will be up at some point. Right now the all star game is on. Stay tuned.
We missed the home run derby on Monday.
One day at a time, Josh.






